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Review #4427971
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Review by James Heyward
Rated: GC | (4.5)
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We’ll done. I think you handled the prompt wisely. Most of the suggestions I would make are rendered useless by the word count limitation.

Using the continual time stamp of midnight was great craft. It fleshed out the plot without you needing to burn through your word count and possibly jump the shark. The manner in which you explained the situation was just vague enough to contribute to the believability and totally justifiable considering it is flash fiction.

I opened the story just to have a quick look and get a sense of the style and I was compelled to finish the story. I think that alone says how well written this was.

If I can make any recommendation (and I’m not sure I really need to,) I would suggest experimenting with a short paragraph about the view of the rest of the world from within the experiment. It may not improve the story, but it would be worth throwing a sentence or two in there to see how it feels. You could always scrap it if it didn’t work.

Anyway, nice job. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

- James

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