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Review #4436121
Viewing a review of:
 The Brook by the Road  [E]
My first attempt at a Nove Otto poem
by Artemis Quill
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



*Balloonp* Happy Party Time Artemis Quill! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Balloonp*I was drawn by your title as it sounds like a delightful place. The form is one I have actually heard of and have created. LOL It is quite a challenge.

*Balloonb*The poem has a vivid image and the idea of "chatter on its face" is unique. You conveyed the happiness of the stream and the feeling of the poet as he was drawn into its beauty.

*Balloonp* You did a good job of creating the form. Its rhyme scheme is consistent and the chosen words like "ambling" and "bubbling" are vivid. I noticed that some lines are nine syllables instead of them all being "8". It did not take me out of the read, just a technical note. Line three you could drop the word "his" to fix it. Lines 7 and 8 are also 9 syllables I think. You might say "so tranqil" in line 8.*Smile*

*Balloong* I felt the word "projected" was rather unpoetic. *Wink* I think a period at the end of the first line would be more apt as the second line is a complete thought on its own.

*Star*I liked entering your vision. Thanks for sharing your craft and Happy Anniversary. *Balloonr*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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*Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B* *BalloonR*A Knock it Out Reviewing Activity for a Cause- in celebration of WDC 18th Anniversary *BalloonR* *Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B**Ornament1B*
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