INTRODUCTION

Hello R ,

Thank you so much for your formal review request of your item "Happy Nights Inn" . Overall I thought the story was great, the tone was consistent, the story was very spooky, and I enjoyed reading it. I'm going to touch on just a couple of the elements that really stuck out for me.

So let's get right into it:

WHAT I LIKED:

Style

I thought the style was very unique.

I mentioned that the tone was consistent, and I didn't notice any technical errors while I was reading, which obviously gave the piece a more polished feel and made for some smooth reading. What I really wanted to touch on though was the fact that you used the third-person perspective in the present tense. That's something I don't see nearly as often as the third person past tense or first person present tense - and you used it very effectively in your story.

At first it was a little strange to see - I couldn't remember the last story I read that used it, but because of your descriptive writing style, I soon became less focused on the technical aspect of how the story was written, and more focused on the narrative.

That's exactly how I like my reading experience to go, and I think it made for a memorable piece.





Chapters


The only suggestion that I have for you would be regarding the chapters.

I can see why you wanted the story to be broken up into parts, and I don't necessarily think you should change that. I might reconsider calling them 'Chapters' however - because that's something that gave me pause at two points throughout the story. When I got to "Chapter 2" my first reaction was that "Chapter 1" was pretty short for a chapter, and it the terminology really got me into that novel/book mindset, which just isn't where I wanted to be for a short story.

The second instance was at the end - I was given a little bit of hesitation wondering if there was going to be another "chapter" and that doubt sort of took away from the resolution at first.

I would consider just numbering them or adding some sort of formatting to distinguish from the sections, rather than calling them chapters.

CONCLUSION:

Aside from my terminology nitpicking I thought the story was great. It was a solid narrative that was made very distinct by the way in which you chose to present it.

I wish you all the best, and hope that you come to me for more reviews in the future.

Sincerely,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .