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 Review #4443279 |
 | Remote location  [13+] The search for a missing TV remote takes an unusual turn  |
| (4.0)  Greetings, Mani (R P Subramanian) ! I found your item, "Remote location" , on the children's genre listing page and decided to review it.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.Plot/Characters/Title Your story flowed well. Your plot--finding the location of the TV remote--is clear: Ratty is annoyed with his brother Chip's absentmindedness, knowing it is his brother's fault that the remote is missing. His mother helps him find it, and their discovery is no big surprise.   Your title is witty and quite perfect for this story.  Punctuation/Grammar I found no issues with punctuation or grammar. Suggestions/Thoughts I'd love to see this story expanded and with a few more visuals. By the way, how did you do in this contest?  What I liked... Zareen sighed and put down the clothes basket she was carrying. Nice visual! + Great job with all the dialogue!  Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 02/11/2021 @ 1:36am EST