*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4443380
Review #4443380
Viewing a review of:
 The Promise of Belief in Sports  [E]
A sports poem about the goals we set and lucky breaks.
by Tim Chiu
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Butterfly2V*




Why I stopped by?

Your poem popped up on the random Read and Review. *Bigsmile*


What did I really enjoy?

I love that sports is used as the main theme, here, to show how successful a youth could be later in life through playing in sports while young. One learns dedication and hard work while on a sports team. It is good both physically and emotionally, and makes one proud to earn the wins and to be able to accept the losses, and move forward trying to improve.


What gave me a little pause?

The last verse was a little off rhythm, with the first and second line.

Luck takes hard work and much perseverance; 10 syllables
The folks who rely on a proactive stance 11 syllables

*Idea* Perhaps try this word to boost the syllable count on the first line:

Success takes hard work and much perseverance
It adds that one syllable that blends well with its rhyming line. *Smile*


Further Observations:

It's a rhyming poem AA, BB, quatrain form. For the most part it kept a good rhythm.


Parting thoughts:

A good lesson can be learned in reading this poem. It shows how sports can add strength and character. I agree!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4443380