Devil of the Ocean [18+] Screams 11-20 prompt: story opening with: It was a dark and stormy night. Word count: 492 |
Greetings, NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ ! I found your item, "Devil of the Ocean" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. My First Impression It was a dark and stormy night... I'll never tire of that opening line! You've done a great job setting the scene in this piece. I followed along easily with your great visuals and tense atmosphere. Punctuation/Grammar/Typos I did not notice any issues here. Suggestions/Thoughts Your descriptions were great! I just have a humble suggestion beginning in your fourth paragraph: The waves were between eight and ten feet and obscured the view You might consider rewording this... The eight to ten feet waves obscured the view Also in paragraph 5: She looked up every few strokes and hurled unrealistic requests and could read... Glancing up every few strokes, she hurled unrealistic requests and These are only humble suggestions, not corrections. My favorite line: The clocking wind caused the boat to stall. I love this line! While you could have used words such as charging wind or assaulting wind, your choice of clocking wind really took hold of me. Great choice of words! Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! ~Cubby ") My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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