INTRODUCTION

Hello WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024 ,

I saw your item "A Haunted House"  in the review request thread and thought that I'd drop in to leave you with my thoughts - especially since it's such a good time to be reading spooky stories.

So let's get right into it

WHAT I LIKED:

Story

I like the premise and the style that you told it in - meaning I liked the overall story very much. You have a lot of little details that tie together and there's enough to make it your own, while still letting it be a versatile piece of writing that allows the reader's imagination to really take over while reading it. There was a good balance that was found there and made the piece really stick out. It's not like a lot of the horror that I usually read (which is surprising because I read a lot of different kinds of horror.

A good example was the naming of the cats at the end, it just tied into other moments of the story so well.



Ann-Louise


My biggest suggestion would be to clarify in the beginning who Ann-Louise is because it wasn't clear at first that she wasn't the woman in the couple that the story begins with. Starting with her in the opening line and then shifting to an unspecified "they" was a little confusing because I thought "they" included Ann-Louise up until the point she moved into the house, at which point I was very confused and I had to go back to the beginning. It disrupted the flow of the story at that point and even though I figured it out, it didn't read as smoothly as the rest of the story.

Naming the previous owners of the house would help, or just changing the way that Ann-Louise is introduced so that it's a little more fluid for the reader would probably be a good thing.

Other than that, I thought it was pretty good.

CONCLUSION:

This wasn't the scariest story that I've ever read, but it was very unique and I liked the style a lot, as well as how the whole thing tied together. I hope that this review was helpful, and wish you all the best in continuing to work on this or any other spooky projects this season.

Sincerely,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .