INTRODUCTION

Hello Joto-Kai ,

I saw your item "Evanescent Horror"  in the review request section and thought that I'd drop in to leave you with my thoughts - not just because I'm a big horror fan but because I really related to the question you asked about tastes advancing past skills. I feel like that a lot, but it's important to remember that the only way to advance your skills at the same rate is by trying new things.

So, with that said, let's get into it.

WHAT I LIKED:

Vocabulary

There were a lot of words in here that I don't usually see in poetry, or prose at all for that matter. Among them were; tenebrous, firmament, and evanescent.

Just generally speaking, showing off one's expansive vocabulary is a good way for the piece to stand out and be taken a little more seriously, and it's something that isn't done a lot in poetry on the site. It drew attention to certain lines and I think helped make the piece more memorable for me (though I suppose only time will tell for sure.)



Line

There was a line in there that really stuck out to me that I thought I'd draw your attention to:



I thought this was a sentiment that was presented very eloquently, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.



Abstract

One thing about the poem is that the emotions (and perhaps narrative) behind it were a bit too abstract for me. Perhaps that's the personal taste that you were referring to, but for me it was just too difficult to follow the train of thought behind this, which made it difficult to relate to going from one stanza to the next, and almost impossible to visualize at several points.

If you're going for something more abstract I think you did very well, but if you're looking to leave the reader with a specific image or feeling, I think the piece could use a little work. I wish I knew what the intent was so I could offer better advice on how to get there, but hopefully just my thoughts are somewhat helpful.

CONCLUSION:

I liked the piece well enough as an abstract poem, although that's not something I would generally choose to read. The language was very fitting for the themes I was able to discern, but the imagery didn't tie together in a way that concrete enough for my more narrative-inclined tastes.

I hope you get the answers you're looking for and that you never stop trying to make your skills and your tastes meet on the desired level.

Sincerely,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .