INTRODUCTION

Hello Maolla ,

I came across your item "The Benefit of Doubt"  in the review request thread and thought that I'd drop by to leave my thoughts, even though I don't know a ton about poetry. Your review request really intrigued me because you specified that it was your second time writing poetry in English, and I was wondering if you had any other experience writing poetry not in English? I'd also be very interested to see that, if that's the case.

But, either way, let's get to the review.

WHAT I LIKED:

Message

What I liked best about the piece was it's message. Asking questions is the best way to get answers and to learn, especially on this sort of existential level about things that are more spiritual than factual. It's a good topic for poetry because of the emotional component and you did a good job covering it in a limited number of words.

I don't know enough about poetic forms to offer too much technical insight into the structure, but I will say that as a reader it was very effective to have those short lines at the end of each stanza for emphasis, it brought extra impact to each individual thought being expressed and was visually appealing.




Slant Rhyme

There was one thing that bothered me a little about the piece, and it was the following stanza:



The last couplet was more of a slant rhyme than a proper rhyme, and normally that doesn't bother me, but because all the other rhymes were proper rhymes, it made this one instance of slant rhyming stick out like a sore thumb.

Maybe seeing if you could change that, or get at least one other slant rhyme in there somewhere would be really good - although I'm sure most people won't be as nitpicky about it as I was I just like there to be rhyming precedent.

CONCLUSION:

All in all I thought this was a great poem. I had one small detail that caught my eye, but overall it was a great piece. For this only being your second attempt at English poetry it's amazing and I would love the opportunity to read more of your work in the future.

Sincerely,

-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .