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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4447065
Review #4447065
Viewing a review of:
 Home  [E]
A poem about home and hope and everything in between.
by Helen Lockley
Review of Home  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, Helen Lockley ! I found your item, "Home" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression
         At first, I was a little confused about the darkness being your home and then further down, the daylight being your home... and then it all fell into place. *Smile* Very nice. I like this piece a lot.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos
         I noticed no distractions at all.

Suggestions/Thoughts
         In the last line of the 2nd stanza, But give me not a fright. I'm wondering if perhaps a stronger verb could be used to replace give. Something to consider, anyway. *Wink* Other than that, I absolutely loved this. Your flow is lovely. *Smile*

         *Starb* My favorite line...
                             Where fears come to persuade me,
         I love this line! I've never read anywhere about fear persuading. What a great phrase!

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
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