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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4447943
Review #4447943
Viewing a review of:
 Oh   [E]
What I thought when he left
by A. Woods
Review of Oh  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, A. Woods ! I found your item, "Oh " , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile* I also discovered you are a new member, only three days ago! Welcome! *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression
         First of all, I love your simple two-letter title. It's actually perfect, in my own opinion. I also loved your second stanza, using the phrase desert of your heart.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos
         I stumbled upon just one: In the fourth line: gulped them away, to fast You'll want to add an o to to. gulped them away, too fast *Smile* Other than that, nothing worth mentioning stood out to me. *Smile*

Thoughts
         Something I would like to mention is what makes this break-up piece different from so many others, is that it doesn't go on and on and on. It's refreshing. You've made it your own and I like that. I also like how you begin and end with the same word.

         *Starb* My favorite line...
                             They fell like rain but the sands gulped them away
         I love this visual of your words spilling from your lips. Nice!

*Thumbsup* Well written! I hope my suggestion were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
Ghost House Simply Positive signature.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/26/2018 @ 11:02pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4447943