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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4450572
Review #4450572
Viewing a review of:
 The Elephant Who Ate Too Much  [E]
A children's poem about an elephant and a banana tree.
by Tim Chiu
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, Tim Chiu ! I found your item, "The Elephant Who Ate Too Much" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression
         I love children's poetry and enjoyed this poem very much.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos, etc.
         The first time I read through it, I stumbled a bit in parts, but I always try to read poetry through a few times, getting the feel of the rhythm, rhyme, and flow. I had no issues the 2nd and 3rd times through. This is visually enjoyable and fun to read. And your rhymes are not forced at all. Your punctuation is right on! I found no grammar issues or typos.

Suggestions/Thoughts
         No suggestions. *Smile* I enjoyed this very much!

         *Starb* My favorite lines...
                             He’d eaten too much, saw his appetite end –
                             The elephant had ingested more than his fill…

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
Simply chipmunks SP group signature.


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