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Review #4450961
Viewing a review of:
 An Affectionate Moment  [ASR]
A moment in time to be long regretted...
by Harry
Review by Cubby
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, Harry ! I found your item, "An Affectionate Moment" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression
         This is a similar story I've heard tell in real life. An older woman I know told me once she regretted her last words to her husband, many years ago. Like your poetry-story here, she spoke sharp words to her loved-one for the last time. He later was killed that very afternoon. It's so sad, because most of us have become irritated with our partner and said things we shouldn't have. We're only human. My hubby and I always make sure we give each other a kiss before one of us leaves, just in case. And so your piece here, brought all this up within my review. It's certainly something to ponder and perhaps think twice about before your loved one leaves the house.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos
         Nothing distracted me whatsoever.

Suggestions/Thoughts
         No suggestions. I liked how you told this story; the broken lines in rhyme pulled me in and made it feel more real. I love traditional poetry, but something like this is almost better told in the way you have written it. Thank you for sharing, Harry. *Smile*

         *Starb* My favorite lines...
                             She had no reason to think, no earthly way to know
                             that she’d relive this moment a thousand times or so,

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
Simply chipmunks SP group signature.


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