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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4451139
Review #4451139
Viewing a review of:
 Fire and Flame  [ASR]
An unhealthy relationship
by Schnujo is Late to Lannister
Review of Fire and Flame  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, Schnujo is Late to Lannister ! I found your item, "Fire and Flame" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression
         Oh, I really like this! I love the play on fire and flame, ice and cold, and it's all about an unhealthy relationship, as you summarize beneath your title. I noticed this was a contest entry. How did you do? No matter, this piece is well written! I guess I never realized you were such a good poet, which I'll admit, I don't think I've ever reviewed you before this.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos
         Everything looks great! No distractions whatsoever!

Suggestions/Thoughts
         Something you could just play around with, is not capping the beginning of every line where the train of thought flows. It's not wrong how it is now, but something to experiment with if you have extra time. *Bigsmile*


         *Starb* My favorite lines...
                             Fire and Flame
                             Here we are again
         These beginning lines set the tone for me. Great job!

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
Simply chipmunks SP group signature.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/13/2018 @ 10:31pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4451139