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Review #4451715
Viewing a review of:
 The Teacher's Happy  [E]
children's perspective of a term test
by CREEK
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, CREEK ! I discovered your item, "The Teacher's Happy"  and decided to review it. *Smile* I enjoy writing for children, so that's why I was first attracted to your piece, but I also worked at a school as a parapro/library clerk for twelve years in my earlier years, so your visuals here were amusing and made me smile. *Bigsmile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression

         Oh, yes. *Laugh* I definitely felt the tension from the children's view, but also the stare of impending doom from the teacher. Great job! And the visuals were right on. *Thumbsup* In fact, they were excellent. And I certainly heard the thud of those papers! *Wink*

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos

I found nothing distracting as far as technical boo-boos go. *Bigsmile* Good job!

Suggestions/Thoughts

         Seriously, the only thing which distracted me was the word Hell in the last line of your second stanza. I'm not so sure it is wrong, but something about kids reading this, makes me wonder. It just sort of hit me, I guess, with surprise. Now you must understand it's been a long time since I was a child, and maybe it's not unusual now. I must admit, it fits perfect though! *Laugh* But since your first choice of genre (below the title) is Children's, I'm wondering perhaps if you want to switch it around with Entertainment or Opinion. You might even consider Educational as I'm sure teachers would absolutely love your piece. *Wink* Anyway, it's up to you, so please disregard my comments if I'm on the wrong track. *Smile*

         *Starb* My favorite line...

                             Anticipation is mountain high.
         I love this line! *Smile*

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
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