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Review #4452459
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Rated: | (4.5)
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         *Pumpkin2* Greetings, Norman ! I found your item, "Invalid Item" , in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

My First Impression

         Aw... this made my eyes tear up! I wasn't expecting this at all! I love how you use the dragon as a symbol of your greatest fear. What a great idea. And the ending is sweet. *Bigsmile*

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos

         You stay consistent in your punctuation, or your lack-of, other than the question marks. Your grammar is great, and I found no typos whatsoever. *Smile*

Suggestions

         What great flow you have! Your rhythm and rhyme feel effortless, although there was one line that didn't roll along as well as all the others. I'm not sure if you'll want to change it or not, as the meaning is there, I just found it a tad distracting.
In Stanza 6, Line 3: She says yes and gives a smile
         The word smile at the very end of this line just seems to block the wonderful flow the rest of your piece has. Perhaps something similar to...
She says yes and smiles at me
Of course it's your call. *Wink*

Thoughts

I have a few dragons I'd like to slay, as most of us do, I suppose. You're very gifted at showing this reader that it's possible to overcome a fear and be your own hero. Congratulations on your courage. *Smile*

         *Starb* My favorite lines...

                             To overcome that dreaded dragon
                             And lay our greatest fears to rest

*Thumbsup* Nicely written! I hope my suggestions were helpful. *Smile*

Have a great day and...
*Pumpkin2*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Pumpkin2*
~Cubby ")
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