The basic story is good -- an unusual theme. The ending, with the epilogue about belief and evolution, gives it a more intriguing twist.

Here are some observations:

The brief description gave away what was happening, it reduced the feeling of suspense that you are trying to create.

I notice you have picked only 'nature' as your genre. You could pick two more genres to give your story more exposure on site.

The story is entirely 'told'. I would like there to have been some more 'showing'.

In the first paragraph, you change tenses between past tense and present tense.

I feel that you could edit out one instance of the cries they heard. Somehow, that part seemed to slow the piece down a bit. You could actually give it another read, now that it has been a while since you wrote it, and check for repetitions throughout.

I also got a little confused as to who had killed the mermaid. I'm not sure if it was man, or other merpeople.

In terms of the layout, since this is a rather lengthy piece, I'd have liked to see a bit more spacing between lines.

Thanks for sharing this!

Write On!
Sonali

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .