Hello Bryan J Smith



Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

I thought I'd return the favor of reviewing one of your pieces. This one grabbed my attention. I don't read a lot of love stories but this one caught me. I have to say it is full of emotions, sadness and anger. And lots of imagery, I could see the story unfold as I read. I'm not for sure if this is poetry or a story for I caught lots of rhyming.

A few suggestions to offer:
The lights were hot and we fought. cause you wanted to read since I was playing a game, Capitalize cause or change the period to a comma. and change the comma after game to a period.

you had worried me though
Capitalize you

The dogs came to you for Protection, and then you took a bath.
This line lost me, it feels out of place and makes no sense to me.

Over all it is well written. I am sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep on writing.


Gypsy Ann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .