*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4452960
Review #4452960
Viewing a review of:
 Masquerade  [13+]
Flash Fiction
by Jacky
Review of Masquerade  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a review from "The WDC Angel Army

Well - yikes!

That was unexpected, for sure! You built up well to the ending, and really hit the reader with the final line.

Suggestion:
Pick a couple more genres. If you don't want to give away what happens at the end by choosing an obvious genre, you could pick something like 'relationship' or 'emotional'.

Also -- I'd have liked to know, through some sort of hint, WHY she would do this. You say that meeting him was not on the agenda to begin with, so she didn't go there for this. Then she met him and -- ? Maybe something about the stirrings of revenge -- something like that. Or did he say / do something very bad during that party?

And how did he hone in on her quickly? Was that just co-incidence, or did he recognise some aspect?

I know this is flash fiction so you probably have very few words, but you could just hint at these -- maybe deleting some other details to do so.

Overall, a good build up with a twist at the end.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4452960