Oh, so it was you, was it? I saw her cry that day and wondered who could have done that to her!



Just kidding, just kidding.

I enjoyed the piece, you told the story well. You put in just at the right time that you were the one to make her cry, and had me waiting to find out what you did. Oh, and the conclusion was hilarious!

A few suggestions:
Layout: I'd have liked more spacing between lines, for it to be easier on the eye.

The story -- I'd have liked more descriptions of what people looked like, what the place was like, what you were wearing and so on. Not meaning you should overload the piece with these, but just a hint like 'brown eyes filled with tears' or something.

Choice of words -- you use the word 'great' quite often, sometimes very close to each other. Maybe you'd like to change some of those.

Yeah, so it was you.

Write On!
- Sonali

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .