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Review #4453325
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Hallo!
I enjoyed this tale of the modern Adam and Eve. It was sounding like the ancient story to begin with, and when the twist came, it gave me a chcukle! *Ha*!

Suggestions:
1. I thought you could have had a verse which hinted that there were 'rules', somehow -- a notice board or something that they passed by without a glance, maybe ... ? So that when they're caught, the reader goes back mentally and recalls that they had been warned.

2. Who was the 'parrot'? Would be nice if it implies that s/he symbolises something in modern society. A hoarding? A TV set with a commercial playing on it? In fact, this whole poem could be made to sound actual as well as allegorical, with a few twists -- that would give it a different dimension. They ignored the notice board but followed what the hoarding said ... (Am I getting a bit carried away here? *Rolling*)

3. You may want to give this another read for two things:
a. Forced rhymes and
b. Repeated words.
Just a couple of your rhymes feel a bit forced, and sometimes you repeat a word within the same verse -- like 'fresh'in the third verse.

Thanks for sharing this enjoyable poem!
Write On!
- Sonali

PS: Any suggestions are purely my personal opinion.
Feel free to use them or disregard them as you deem fit!
It's your writing and you know best what works!

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