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Review #4453773
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Review by Mina~
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi!

This is indeed a good entertaining piece. I am reviewing your poem from review request page. I do hope you find something that is interesting to you. It's been a pleasure to review your story "Invalid Item"  on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. But I like writing because I think it is best way to express ourselves and emotions and ideas with others. My second language is English. I keep writing everyday to be master in writing.

*BurstP* FIRST IMPRESSION: Raghav R, you wrote a good humorous poem. It is fun reading. I appreciate your thought process.

*BurstP* THE POEM: I like the story of modern Adam and Eve. I realized that your story is set in some modern time and it look great. Your poem reflects that the young lovers enjoy doing things which are prohibited for them.
The way you wrote makes me reading your poem to the end. It has good rhythm and flowed beautifully with your crafted words. The tone I find this poem is soothing and cheerful. You have used punctuation marks in your poem this gives a extra flavor.


*BurstP* FAVORITE LINE: In a matter of minutes of the bite,
"A van rushed with men eight,
Who looked forbidding and stern
For security was their concern."

and the last stanza

"With bowed head and the apple half eaten,
They walked out of the modern Eden
Like the ancient pair of Adam and Eve,
Left for their misdeed to grieve."

*BurstP* FINAL THOUGHT: I enjoyed reading the modern version of Adam and Eve and their adventure. I appreciate the way you writing this poem.
It's pleasure to know someone like you.

*FlowerV**Vine2* Mina *Vine1**FlowerV*
*Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass*

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/29/2018 @ 1:40am EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4453773