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Review #4454755
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Review of Deep Waters  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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This review is being given as part of the Simply Positive Reviews & Rising Stars groups.

Please note that all opinions rendered below are in the spirit of giving, in an effort to help, you, the writer, improve the piece. You are under no obligation to use any of my suggestions and I won't think less of you if you don't use them. Regardless, thank you for the opportunity to review your work.


General Impressions
From the very first sentence, my impression was, who is your audience? The language used is very distancing and the first person perspective makes it seem cold, as though the reader is being talked down to or lectured. In addition, the vocabulary choices make me wonder again who this is for. Is this for academics? Educators? Surely not for general lay people?

That being said, I find some of your perspectives interesting and I have loosely learned some of these things myself. My husband calls me a force of nature because I can bend circumstances to my will simply by believing I can. Unfortunately, the world around us tends to limit us by telling us "You can't do that". Fear gets in the way of a lot of potential and I learned that at a young age. My parents were afraid of me when I was a child because of my high potential and did all they could to tear me down in the process. They failed but they certainly slowed me down for over two decades.

I found the section about embracing your shadow-self interesting. I went through significant cognitive therapy that helped me to accept that I'm not perfect and that I will always be growing and learning in life. I think that's something that everyone should learn and embrace.

Favorite Part
The exercise at the end is excellent and validating. I've done this myself. My biggest secret was/is being a survivor of incest at the hands of my father. It took me almost 3 decades just to be able to talk about it, or accept it, and there's still some days when that's hard to do.

Suggestions for improvement
I would take a long hard look at the language choices and your audience for this.

Rating Explanation
I'm giving this a 3, not so much because it's bad or wrong but because of the limited audience and tone I identified above. It's an interesting premise, I'm just not sure how well received it would be by the average person currently.

Best of luck and keep writing!

Charity

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