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Review #4457087
Viewing a review of:
 Shooting Stars  [E]
Dedicated to my wild, outgoing, smart, beautiful, and talented daughters of mine.
by Laura O'Connell
Review of Shooting Stars  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
In line one do you mean 'I was startled'?
You do well in keeping the rhyming pattern all the way through.
I do have one question. Did you work on the meter, they flow of your piece? Is there a pattern that I don't know about?
I want to encourage you and have you keep writing. Are you open to suggestions?

If you count all of the syllables in the first lines and see how they don't match up, then maybe you can understand what I'm meaning. Count the syllables in the first line of the first verse-sixteen, and then count them in the first line of the last verse-six.

It could be good practice to try to make the lines match up so it flows better.

I do like the story within the poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.
love, LinnAnn

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