Hello Jay L ,

I spotted your poem from the Hub under Review Requests and decided to stop by and leave a review. I hope that my comments or suggestions will be helpful.

Title / Tagline:
I found the title to be interesting and it made me curious, too. I wondered what the author would consider the key of unity to be. Especially in these turbulent times.

The description line, or tagline, allows the author an opportunity to clarify the title and further lure in the reader. Perhaps if you used this field to elaborate a little bit more about the nature of the poem, it might prove helpful.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The word choices did spark emotion, to be sure. I started out feeling one way, thinking this was going to be about a close relationship and then I felt like it was leaning toward a political theme. I suppose the interpretation could be left to the reader, allowing them to apply the words to their lives and experiences.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
Undeniably, there is plenty of rhyming going on here. It always amazes me how writers can convey emotion and rhyme simultaneously. So, good job with that.

While you did a good job with rhyming, I could not find a set pattern. The poem is not broken into stanzas, which may help with the flow overall. Since there were no spaces I found myself rereading lines and paying too much attention to the rhyming words. For me, it was distracting. I read the poem several times in order to, I guess, distract myself from the rhymes and concentrate on content.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
I did not see any misspelled words.
Your grammar was fine.

Thinking about punctuation, I only spotted ellipsis at the very end. I would consider removing it. It's the only punctuation in the poem and seems out of place and unnecessary.

Suggestions:
Aside from the suggestions I've already made, my only major suggestion would be to reformat the poem. to improve readability.

I enjoyed the poem and it truly gave me think and reminisce.


Thank you for sharing your work.
Kindest Regards, Lilli

***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. I look to see how the piece makes me feel and if I can I visualize the story/poem in my head. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .