INTRODUCTION

Hello ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams ,

I found your item "Ablazing"  in the review request thread and thought that I'd look it over since I've been looking for more poetry to review for Poetry Month before it ends.

WHAT I LIKED:

Message

The first thing that strikes me about the poem is that it's incredibly sweet. Even though that's something I don't like to read a lot of in my poems, it is something that you've done an incredible job with, and in your own, unique way.

Slant rhyme

One thing that I liked is that your use of slant rhyme is consistent enough (and approached with a smooth enough meter) that it didn't feel like you were doing it because you had to, it felt very natural and I appreciated it.

Final line

I wasn't really sure about the title until I made it to the last line, at which point I had to smile a little. The last line tied it together beautifully, and you did a great job.



Rhyme

Although I did mention that I liked the use of slant rhyme, I have to admit that one of my biggest pet peeves in poetry is rhyming words with themselves. That's something you did in this piece twice (with the word "eight" in the first stanza and the word "time" in the second.)

Phrasing

There were also just a couple of phrases that didn't roll off the tongue very naturally for me. I'm not sure if they're expressions or poetic licensing (which is totally fine) but since they detracted my attention from the piece, I thought I'd just include them so you knew which ones I meant:

          Will this love be till my lifetime?
          But if he flies off to a wild blond yonder?

CONCLUSION:

All in all, I thought it was a strong piece. I had a few small issues with it, a couple things that made me pause, but the story and the sentiment behind it came across so strongly - and there was a sweet little surprise moment at the end with the title showing up.

I hope this review was helpful, and that I get to read more of your work in the future.


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .