INTRODUCTION

Hello MatildaRose ,

I found your item "Invalid Item"  in the review request thread and thought that it would be perfect for me to review for Poetry Month, so I hope that you don't mind me dropping by.

WHAT I LIKED:

Structure/Rhyme

One thing that really struck me about this piece was your stanza structure, especially at the beginning. The way that you rhymed two, shorter lines in the center of your four line stanzas gave the piece such a unique rhythm, and read aloud it sounded almost like an internal rhyme scheme even though technically the rhymes were all at the end.

I was so impressed with this that I actually read the first stanza out loud more than once.

Repetition

I think repeating words/phrases in poetry is something that can be really hit or miss, but it was a definite hit here. Whenever you repeated words, it came across like you were just drawing parallels or emphasis in the piece.

There was one line in particular that exemplifies this:



This left a definite impact for me.





I don't have any technical suggestions, but I do have a note.

The narrative aspect of the poem was very ambiguous for me. The description for the piece is "interpret as you will" so I'm assuming that was your intention, but I just thought it would be worth mentioning because a lot of the poems I've read (especially on here) like to tell a clear story.

(Not that you have to tell a story with your poem just because other people do.)

CONCLUSION:

This was a strong, beautifully constructed poem. Although I am someone who likes a stronger narrative element to drive poems, you did handle the ambiguity aspect well and that is to be applauded. I hope this review was at least somewhat helpful, and that I get the chance to read more of your work somewhere down the line.

Sincerely,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .