INTRODUCTION

Hello Spencer James ,

I found your item "The Ocean"  in the review request thread and thought it would be perfect for me to review, since I've been trying to read more poems for Poetry Month. The title also struck me, because I do love the ocean.

WHAT I LIKED:

Imagery

This wasn't an overly descriptive poem, but considering how little of a picture you painted, it was very prominent. Every word of implied scenery carried a lot of impact, which I loved.

Message

Overall, I really like the message. The idea of supporting loved ones moving on once we leave is a beautiful one, and paired with such a beautiful setting as the ocean it was hard not to get sucked into your words.

My Favorite Line:

There was one line in particular that I felt was very strong:

Let salt and swell carry me
Away to better waters

This just struck me as so beautiful, and a good embodiment of the entire poem.



I only have one suggestion and it's regarding your third stanza.

While I really like the message of moving on overall, the tone almost bordered on callous at times in that stanza. "Forget you met my children" seemed a little harsh (especially assuming that the wife is the mother of the aforementioned children especially) and "don't kid yourself" always carries somewhat of a bitter connotation, at least in my opinion.

Considering the message and imagery of the piece, a gentler voice might be stronger in this instance.

CONCLUSION:

Although I did have an issue with the tone in that one spot, I liked the piece quite a bit overall. I hope that the review was helpful in offering a new perspective and I wish you all the best in your work.

Sincerely,

-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .