INTRODUCTION

Hello Jay L ,

I found your item "Days No Longer Spent In A Haze"  in the Review Request thread and thought that I'd give it a read in honor of poetry month.

So, let's get right into it

WHAT I LIKED:

Internal Rhyme

One thing that I really liked about the longer lines of your poem was that you were able to include some internal rhyme, which I thought was awesome. Internal rhyme is one of my personal favorite poetic devices and there was so much of it here

Contrast

What struck me as being the strongest aspect of the piece was that you used a lot of darker imagery to convey a positive message about living life to the fullest. It was a nice juxtaposition, and it made for a highly entertaining read.

I think one of my favorite examples of this was the following excerpt:



The focus of the section were all darker things, but you used them to push the piece along to the end, where it was a bit more uplifting.



Structure

The one big suggestion I have for you is that you consider breaking it down into stanzas, to make it a little friendlier on the eyes and potentially make it read through a bit faster. The poem isn't long, but having it all in one big chunk makes it seem a little more daunting.

CONCLUSION:

I hope that the review was at least somewhat helpful, and that you keep writing and sharing your work here on WdC. I'd like the chance to read more from you in the future.

All the best,


-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .