Gingerly does it [ASR] John discovers there's a lot more about his family that melts his heart. |
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Bon jour, Cherry Koshi! As a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror, I thought this was a cool story, and the concept of this gingerbread man coming to life was a good concept (and rather unique, too). It was a little weird trying to wrap my head around how the whole family had evil twin gingerbread people of themselves now, but that’s not very important for a short story like this. However, if you ever decide to expand on this (and I seriously this could be expanded!), then maybe you could go into more detail with some explanation for it. Comments and suggestions: ‘Till I saw one winking back.’ (nice! ) Also, I don’t think you need that comparison at the end (‘like Gingerbread People’), since that’s already been suggested that that’s what they were. ‘...and throwing her arms open wide, dramatically.’ (this sounds kind of awkward—maybe drop ‘dramatically’?) Otherwise, nice job! Kee ponw ritin gon, Cherry, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here! PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course. PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
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