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Review #4483156
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Review by Past Member 'blimprider'
Rated: | (5.0)
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*BalloonR*    Welcome to WdC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon *BalloonR*


         Good morning, pure405evil, and welcome to WdC. I'll be your reviewer this morning, so a few words about myself might be in order. My real name is Jack Tyler, "Blimprider" being a nod to my work in steampunk. I am published, though hardly famous, nor am I a highly-respected critic. I am a guy with an opinion that I'm going to share, and if you disagree with anything I say here, keep firmly in mind that the only opinion that matters here is yours. I've never been the sort of abstract thinker who gets most of the symbolism that poetry uses to make its points, but I'm working to correct that, and this review will be part of the process. I am accustomed to reviewing prose fiction for which I use a template that has nothing to do with poetry, so I'm working very much without a net here; Perhaps I can develop this into a poetry template, but I'd best not get ahead of myself. Let's get to your review instead, shall we?

         My fiction template cites four areas to "grade," Story, Characters, Setting, and Presentation. After careful consideration, I can only find three for poetry: Theme, Construction, and Mechanics. Sounds easy on the face of it; rate the three areas, and average them for a final score. Without further ado, then...

THEME: In your theme, you set out to explain the nature of evil, treating it as a personality with an agenda and a timetable, working toward the subjugation of humanity. A prose author would need at least 10,000 words to make the points you deliver in 113. This is the true beauty of skillfully-managed poetry, its succinct delivery in a concise, no-nonsense form. I sometimes wish I understood it better, but this one is plain enough, and I can only award top marks for your efforts.

CONSTRUCTION: This is the way I like a poem to be, metered, measured, and rhyming. I don't mean to imply that free verse is inferior, but it often leaves my poor ability to follow it behind. Poetry in rhyming stanzas is my preference, and this one checks every box. You are making a point with your theme, and at no time did I ever have to stop and guess what you were talking about. That's a solid five on my scale.

MECHANICS: This takes in the typos, the "hear" instead of "here," any little gaffe that might pull the reader out of the flow. The Holy Grail of any form of writing is immersion, and anything that breaks the reader's immersion is a problem of the first order. Having read for the sake of experiencing the work, then gone back to examine the way it's presented, I've returned once again to read word-by-word, with a fine-tooth comb, you might say, to find all your lurking errors that you weren't thorough enough to catch... I, too, have my evil side! Well, guess what? I couldn't find one! Nothing, nada. A letter-perfect presentation.

SUMMARY: So, let's see, three times five is fifteen, divided by three, carry the zero, put the five above the bracket... Aha; a perfect five! This thing was a pleasure to read. Maybe I'm not the hopeless cretin I portray myself as. Oh, and by the way, you state in your bio that you have yet to write a good poem. You'll have to delete that part, I'm afraid! At 47, I have precious little advice to give you about the Craft. Just, amid the hectic life that writers often subject themselves to, don't forget to enjoy yourself. There is no way to predict where your writing path may take you, but you'll always have the experience. Make sure it's a good one!

All the best in all things always!
*Hotair2* Jack "Blimprider" Tyler *Hotair2*

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