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Review #4483482
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: | (4.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, AJW!
This is cool. I thought it was going to be some lame joke story. You know, like 'A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"', but thankfully it wasn't!
The idea of Hamill playing that trick and 'using the force' on the drunk was great, but to be honest, I was a little surprised by the ending. I figured it was going to be the bartender who played the trick on Hamill, not the other way around!
Well played, my friend!
I don't know how this did in the contest, but it looks like a winner to me!
One niggle:
'The drunk guy left and (a) few minutes later Mark...'
There's also a few misplaced commas in here and some you don't need, but I think if you went back over this you could spot them.
Kee ponw ritin gon, AJW! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a great day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4483482