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Review #4485160
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Rated: | (3.5)
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Hi EnterName5312,
This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of excitement and irritation. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Paul will enter the song contest. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The story is about a mother who pushes her song to enter a song contest on New Year's Eve. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)"Come on isn't it a break from the boring"-Should read "Come on. Isn't is a break from the boring?"

2)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.

A new Simply Positivwe group sig for reviewers.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/17/2019 @ 10:17pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4485160