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Review #4485676
Viewing a review of:
 The Pro!  [E]
He’s hidden it from friends.
by Paul
Review of The Pro!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Paul!
This isn't bad. I like how you told it all in diagolue, and it actually brought back some of my own memories from riding bikes as a kid. Not that I ever raced professionally (I'm not even sure that was around back in the 70s!), but I did do some pretty wild things back then.
The dialogue was natural and realistic, and the best part was that it had sort of a moral at the end about showing off and making others feel bad.
Some suggestions:
"Whattaya want(,) Pete?”
"I don’t want to race you(,) Danny.”
“Maybe. Why not(,) Bobby?(")
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul, and have a fantastic day!

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