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Review #4485727
Viewing a review of:
OFF-CUTS!  [XGC]
Suitable refuse.
by Laurie Razor
         Review for entry/chapter: "The Erebusian Anomaly " 
Review of OFF-CUTS!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

G’day, my friend!
Your prose—and by that I mean mainly your vocabulary and dialect—are exceptional! Not just in this piece, but almost all of them. And your imagination is, well…pathetically incredible. Yeah, I know that’s an oxymoron, so take it as you will. Oh, and your imagination is deplorably fantastic! *Laugh*
This reminded me a lot of an H.P. Lovecraft or an H.G. Wells story for some reason, maybe because of the plot (or concept). You put a lot of thought into this, and I seriously envy you. I have a hard time doing that lately.
Comments and suggestions. Yeah, the grammar Nazi strikes again! *Smirk2*
‘I think I'm the only one though(,) on more than a few occasions...’ (;)
‘who've succumbed to this island's madness would disappear(ed)’
‘All we could do is stare in wonder as he disappeared...’ (was)
‘as an inhuman fear turned his eyes pale white momentarily.’ (‘momentarily pale white’? Just a suggestion. Although, in this form (style-diary, note, whatever) this is written, this could also be perfect)
‘clearing the thick smokey shape to reveal...’ (smoky)
‘Had the other afflicted among us(,) suffered the same mysterious fate as Jim?’
‘Inside, a radiant otherworldly aurora of shifting majesty graced our eyes, the likes of which the heavens themselves could not display.’ (this is just too good-how long do you spend coming up with sentences like these?)
‘Through the wonder...’ (thank you! do you know how many people on this site mix up ‘wonder’ and ‘wander’? Seriously, more people than not!)
‘That night(,) we devised a devilishly immoral plan to further Marsh's research(;) a plan which we first set into motion...’ (this one has me a bit stifled...purty dang sure that comma shouldn’t be there, and that ; might have should’ve been a ,)
‘I regret to admit, we berated(,) and belittled the poor man...’
Write on and rock on, my friend! ‘Twas a pleasure to read, and have a marvelous day!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

Angus Hand

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