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Review #4487149
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Review by Angus
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Rated: | (3.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, EnterName5312!
This isn't bad, but it seemed like more of a narrative than a story. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'm just saying.
I'm not exactly sure what surgical procedure you used to fix your mother's ankle (yes, I know this was just fiction, right?)--cutting it open and inserting gauze into it was something I've never heard of, but maybe your character had some magical powers, considering she was completely healed by the next morning.
The spelling was good, but the ending seemed a little anticlimactic, and there were a lot of missing commas and periods in this. I think if you went back over it you could spot them.
One big niggle you might want to check:
"...you(r) screaming will only increase my nervous level."
Kee ponw ritin gon, EnterName5312, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/30/2019 @ 8:03pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4487149