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Review #4487830
Viewing a review of:
 The accident  [13+]
After a mysterious accident, you and others gain superpower. What will you do?
by THorny
Review of The accident  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Aloha, THorny!
This isn't bad for your first piece on here, but it's also not something I see a very many Newbies doing (for their first piece on here) Most Newbies start out with a story or a poem, so this is a first for me.
I like the idea of giving readers different choices of where they want to go with the story, but I think it might get a little confusing for you to do this. As I said, this isn't something that's done too often around here. That's not to say you shouldn't do it, but I just want you to know.
One thing about this that I'm concerned with is writing it in the second person point of view. I honestly think it would be better if you wrote it in the third person POV. The 2nd person is rarely used, whereas the 3rd person is the most used.
Either way, at least you've got something in your portfolio now and you can call yourself a Registered Author!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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