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Review #4491517
Viewing a review of:
 
Have a Heart  [E]
Can a father's love save his son? Flash Fiction Contest entry
by Ned
Review of Have a Heart  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello there, NordicNoir!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece, and I can see how it won the contest. Congratulations! Arakun the Twisted Raccoon loves twisted/surprise endings, and this piece certainly had that!
I like Mark’s idea of getting revenge on his soon-to-be exwife for her making him think that Tyler was his son, and having him fix her car so his son could get her heart was pretty dark. I also like the twist you gave us (or at least me) earlier; you said ‘Mark knew what he had to do’, and at first I thought he was going to kill himself and give him HIS heart.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and you did great job with the word prompts. The only thing I noticed that didn’t quite make sense was that at the beginning you said ‘It had never occurred to Mark that Tyler wasn’t his son.’ But later Michele apparently had his DNA tested and Mark found out. I can only assume this happened while their marriage was breaking up, right?
I’ve entered this contest a lot of times, and I know it’s not easy to squeeze a whole ‘story’ in using just 300 words, so I can’t really fault you there.
Regardless, it was still a cool (and dark *Smirk2*) story!
Kee ponw ritin gon, NordicNoir, and welcome to WdC!

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