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Review #4493082
Viewing a review of:
 Friendly Dark  [18+]
A man, arrested by the chief of police, is interrogated about his demon friend.
by vastowen456
Review of Friendly Dark  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings Vastowen!
As a writer/reader/lover and judge of horror (and everything dark *Smirk2*), I thought this was good for a short FF piece. The idea of you being interrogated for a murder that was allegedly committed by an evil spirit was a cool idea, and bringing that blonde-haired woman to prove it was a neat way to prove it.
I also like that you wrote this in the first person. That makes it more ‘personal’, at least to me.
For only being 17, I’m impressed! Not just with the story, but that you appear to want to be a writer and you’re taking it seriously. I only wish I’d been more serious about my own writing when I was your age.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a few niggles:
‘hemmoraged’ should be ‘hemorrhaged’
"No to telling me, or you can't see him?" The chief demanded’
"Did you kill them? Or did it?" He demanded.' (those shouldn’t be capitalized-they’re speech tag niggles-check out the link below)

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Vastowen456, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and you obviously do), then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
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PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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