*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4493189
Review #4493189
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
Review of Dinner Time  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Ahoy, Mari!
This isn't bad, and it's certainly very graphic and vivid! You're descriptions of the maggots and how she succumbed to that vile and terrible demise was very well done!
I guess Helen's relationship with her ghosts wasn't a good as it should have been, especially since they ended up getting the last laugh!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
'...she took the cellophane off the steak(,) and threw the meat into the pan.'
Also, there seemed to be a bit more telling than showing in this.
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day/evening/tomorrow!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

My latest 'Angus' signature

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4493189