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Review #4493192
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Review by Angus
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Kimberly!
This is a nice, feel good story about John and his lifelong love of fireworks, as well as how he managed to become a successful creator of them and make a career in field of pyrotechnics!
I just wonder if he wasn't a pyromaniac! *Laugh* I'm kidding! Sort of...
I'm not too sure about using that much dialogue in this, though. I think if you just described some of that instead of having the conversation between the two gentlemen it might work better. But since you wrote it in such a simple manner, I could be wrong.
Comments and suggestions:
'The one called a willow's John's favorite as well as the crossette.' (odd sentence-missing word?)
'tripple' should be 'triple', unless that's a personal title for that firework
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon (that's my way of saying 'keep on writing on'), Kimberly, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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