Hello, ruwth
I'm sending this review as part of I Write in 2019. You posted before me, so here is my review.

My Impression
I enjoyed this fictional narrative from John. The gospel of John is a very powerful book, and insight into John and the person he was, is always of interest.


Suggestions
I would have liked to see a little more story here. It's over 3k words of narrative, which was still interesting, but it was a second-hand retelling of events that we're all familiar with from the Bible. The decision to make this a present-tense story was bold, but I think it helps the reader in their journey back through time. It's almost as though we are there seated beside John as he's speaking. This, in my opinion, is the real gem of the story, though it would be nice to see some more personal insights from John. How he felt, specific things he remembers that aren't in the Bible. Conversations he might have had with Jesus, or the other disciples.


Grammar/Punctuation/Usage
I didn't notice anything.


Thank you for sharing your story. Good luck in the contest!

IceSkating SugarCube

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