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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4495848
Review #4495848
Viewing a review of:
I Write In 2019   [13+]
Lots of creative pursuits in 2019.
by 💙 Carly
         Review for entry/chapter: "Takedown " 
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
         *Penguin* Greetings, 💙 Carly ! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2019" , *Smile*

         First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. *Smile* Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

Title
         Takedown is the perfect title.

My First Impression
         Wow, your story flowed along great and the tone was set perfectly for the situation. I was not distracted at all.

Punctuation/Grammar/Typos
         *Asteriskb* Just two teeny, tiny punctuation suggestions. In the second paragraph... "He did." came the dry reply. --> I would replace the period with a comma after the word did. And in your last paragraph, “Good work team.” I would add a comma for pause after the word work. *Smile* Definitely not a big deal, but since this is for a contest, it might be helpful.

Other Suggestions
         *Asteriskv* None

Thoughts/Emotions
         *Asterisko* Do you write in this genre often? You pulled me right in and it felt like you were perhaps familiar with this type of genre. Great job!

         *Starb* My favorite line...
                   "You ready for this?' my partner asked, his voice laced with only a touch of concern. ~It would be easy for a writer to just write with concern instead of laced with a touch of concern. This impressed me and proves you are not an amateur writer. Excellent! And best of luck in the contest! I'm sure you'll do well. *Smile*

*Penguin* Nicely written! I hope my humble suggestions were helpful. *Penguin*

*Fisho* Have a great day and *Fishb*
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
~Cubby ")
Animated Penguin Simply Positive review signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/31/2019 @ 11:38am EDT
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