Hi Jordancoburn,
This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anxiety and desperation. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the worker will get out of his work station. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The story is about a man who has a panic attack stemming from a childhood trauma which happened when he confronted a gorilla at a safari park. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story concentrates on the worker, and he comes across as a real person. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The worker speaks like a real person. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a few structural issues that need your attention:


1) identify the sounds origin.-Should read "identify the origin of the sound."

2)The brave man bravado was long lost and although he studied the darkness for sings of movement,-Should read "The brave man bravado was long lost, and, although he studied the darkness of signs of movement,"

3)after finishing the sentence he look once again-"look" should be "looked".

4)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.