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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4497611
Review #4497611
Viewing a review of:
 I'll be your puppet.  [E]
My current thoughts on my situation: Insanity.
by LillyLove
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi LillyLove,
This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They will begin to read to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about the turmoil you are experiencing in a relationship in your life. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1) You cry, and I forgave you.-"cry" should be "cried".

You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.

A new Simply Positivwe group sig for reviewers.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/08/2019 @ 11:34pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4497611