*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4497701
Review #4497701
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a micro-review for poetry written by angyoldgit for the poem "Invalid Item for the group "The WDC Angel Army. Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.

**Impressions**

A very good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent - living life your way - while at the same time it captures your poem’s essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. I love short poetry that tells a story and if it rhymes, that’s even better. This is a very good write. I like how you write in the first person narrative. Well crafted rhyming verse which I enjoy.

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of poetic devices. Good color and shade in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion through sight (observation). Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of living free in nature, homelessness seen by some, but is natural to you that any reader can see in their mind’s eye. Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Very nice rhythm and pacing. Good use of metaphor and simile. Good descriptive/comparison. Rhyming is good as is the rhyme scheme. Near perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed beautifully in this piece.

Lovely depth of feeling. You express the peace within you in living the life you choose. Heartfelt and introspective. You’re comfortable and content with this life you lead... marching in life to the beat of your own drum. Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. There is a typo in line six “and” should be ‘an’. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to remove the comma at the end of line six and to remove the comma after “died” in line ten. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
“Sometimes I fear my wanderings I will soon be forced to cease,
They'll put me in and old folks home where I will not find peace,
As the skylark locked in cage and must surely pine and die,
My carpets are the fields of green, my ceiling is the sky.” — simply beautiful; a powerful and an extremely vivid picture of fear from leaving what makes you feel so safe. Love it.

**Overall**

This is a wonderful write. It kept my attention from the beginning to the end. You are a fine storyteller. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.!

Angel Army Signature by Kiya


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4497701