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Review #4497890
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Rated: | (4.5)
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This is a micro-review for poetry written by hullabaloo22 for the poem "Invalid Item"  for the group "The WDC Angel Army" . Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.

**Impressions**

This is a very good title for your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent - leaving wonderland - while at the same time it captures the poem’s essence as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it. I like your use of alliteration in your title. Nicely done. For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. This is a very good write and entertaining piece. Well crafted Rhyming Quatrains which I enjoy.

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion. You paint a picture of Alice, a wonderment of why should would ever wish to leave wonderland that any reader can appreciate. Flow is good as is the line tone transition and breaks. Rhythm is good as is the pacing. Nice use of enjambment. Nice descriptive/comparison. Rhyming is good as is the rhyme scheme. Near perfect masculine end line rhyme is executed well in this piece.

Good depth of feeling in expressing your envy of Alice’s being able to go toWonderland. I like how you express your not understanding why anyone would want to leave this magical place. I also like the subtle humor. It works well in this piece. There is also a sense of astonishment that permeates throughout your poem which I can relate to.

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. I like your repeating line. It is very effective. Good use of alliteration, nice assonance and consonance. No spelling errors. There is a typo at the end of line three - “in to” should be ‘into’. Punctuation: just a suggestion, remove the semi-colon at the end of line five; change the semi-colon to a comma at the end of line six and change the comma to a semi-colon at the end of line fourteen. This will give emphasis to your changing thoughts as well as make the rhythm and flow even better in my opinion.
I especially like the following lines:
“why would she pick to return once again?
I’d have stayed until my time, it ends.” — I really like these two lines. Powerful expression of astonishment that she would leave such a place to return home. It complements the theme very well. Nicely done.

**Overall**

This is a delightful poem. I enjoy fantasy and this hit the spot. It kept my attention from beginning to end. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!

Angel Army Signature by Kiya

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