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 Review #4497897 |
 Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  How's it going, hullabaloo22  ? I'm Charlie ~ and I've chosen your item, "Invalid Item" for review today. Hope it finds you well.   Theme/Subject Matter: You'll definitely fit in just fine around here because we have some serious coffee and caffeine addicts.  Some of us were definitely not meant to function without a caffeine drip.  Originality/Creativity: Coffee and writing seems to go hand-in-hand for some reason. I've read several coffee-related items here on WDC. You still made it your own and added some creativity as a decaffeinated zombie!  Emotion/Impact: I think humorous poetry is so difficult to write, or it's difficult for me anyway. I think it's especially difficult when you're not writing something silly like a limerick. You definitely put us in the narrator's shoes and even I started feeling like I needed some caffeine even thought it's nighttime where I am! My Favorite Part: My favorite part of the poem was the first 4 lines and then the last 4 lines. They flowed really well together and the last four lines were a happy resolution to those zombie days. My Suggestions: I felt like the flow got thrown off a little bit toward the middle of the poem. It was the My body's not responding right line that started messing up the rhythm for me. Going back now and rereading it, I think it's because the lines before it have less syllables so it seems like a sudden mouthful when you get to those lines. You did end up pulling it together by the end of that set of four lines though. Summary: This was a fun read! I'm not convinced that you're not working for a coffee manufacturer though.  Thanks for sharing your writing with us! Want to chat in real-time with WDC writers? Join the WDC Discord:  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 08/10/2019 @ 4:30am EDT