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 Review #4497899 |
 | The Librarian  [E] The library. The place you go to get lost in new worlds and escape from your own reality.  |
| (3.0)  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" How's it going, AbbyOlson ? I'm Charlie ~ and I've chosen your item, "The Librarian" for review today. Hope it finds you well.   Theme/Subject Matter: The library is a favorite spot of most writers. You can't really write without reading after all! The opening lines of this flash fiction are a good hook. I think we've all experienced that magic of walking up to the library and being engulfed in all the senses that place touches.  Originality/Creativity: The plot of the story is interesting. I see where you were going with it and I do think it's a creative idea for a story. Emotion/Impact: The end of the story definitely left me pondering. I had to think about it and even went back to reread a couple parts to make sure I was understanding the 'twist' aspect. My Favorite Part: I most liked the descriptions of the library and the base idea for the story. I thought the ending was a fun play on the idea that we get lost in books, but with a more sinister twist. Interesting idea! My Suggestions: I would definitely edit this piece to add genre tags. I think part of why I was confused at the end was because we were told going in that this is a suspense/thriller/horror short. Right now, the genres are just contest entry/other. I'd edit to reflect the genre so that the reader goes in with that frame of mind.The reason for that is because I was wondering throughout the story why Mrs. Hawkins was even mentioned. She was Sarah's favorite librarian who always recommended her the best books, but when the new librarian says that Mrs. Hawkins is gone, Sarah doesn't seem to be fazed or affected at all. I think you should build that connection between Mrs. Hawkins and Sarah a little bit more because then the ending will be more impactful. I also couldn't help but wonder what the librarian's purpose was for getting rid of Sarah? I mean, I can understand why she got rid of Mrs. Hawkins if she wanted her position, but Sarah didn't really seem to mind the idea of Mrs. Hawkins being out of the position, so what's the purpose of removing Sarah from the situation? Summary: I think you have a clever idea here and I can definitely see the direction you wanted to take the story. I think if you flesh out the relationship between Sarah and Mrs. Hawkins a little more, the ending will be more impactful and the story will be more well-rounded in total. Thanks for sharing your writing with us! Want to chat in real-time with WDC writers? Join the WDC Discord:  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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