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Review #4499372
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi Lou-Here By His Grace . Good day to you.

I am ShelleyA and I am reviewing your poem "Invalid Item"  in affiliation with our group "The WDC Angel Army" . Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.


**Title**:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent - choice to your door to eternity - which at the same time captures the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it.

**First Impression**: For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. Your poem drew me in from the first line. It’s a very good write and message about what road one will choose, two doors, that is our choice... can be easy or hard; a decision of where one will spend eternity. Skillfully crafted quatrains which I enjoy.

**Imagery**:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of poetic device. Good color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of these two doors that any reader can relate to and see in their mind’s eye.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile: Nice use of metaphor to teach this spiritual lesson. Nice use of personification “forbidden fruit’s call” and ‘a door’ beckons. Good use of descriptive/comparison.

**Flow/Rhythm/Tone**:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Nice rhythm and pacing.
Lovely depth of feeling; earnest, compelling and heartfelt. A thought provoking teaching moment that I can relate to. Your faith is expressed beautifully in your final stanza. Nicely done.

**Rhyme**:
Rhyming is well done. Good rhyme scheme. A nice mix of slant rhyme and perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.

**Word Choice**:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of your theme and feeling. Excellent repeating line at the end of each verse. Good use of alliteration, nice assonance and consonance.
I especially like the following line(s):
“"Enter, no need to knock."” — a powerful line, a request with the sense of urgency as well as making the right choice of entering the correct door for you. It keeps to the theme of your poem beautifully. Also, the implication of one’s final destiny that depends on the door one enters is left to the person.

**Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation**:
No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, I don’t think you need the comma at the end of lines one and five. If you remove them, the flow and rhythm will be even better in my opinion.

**Closing Thoughts**:
Overall, this is a very good write and a well thought out teaching moment in one’s spiritual destination. It also goes well with the inspirational verses of your prompt. It kept my attention from beginning to end. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!


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